National Pizza Crisis
by vanila-chan
Summary: Tokyo is thrown into madness and the Black Knights and Knight of the Rounds have been dragged into the chaos. Oneshot. Features enormous pizzas that can flatten palaces.


**Warnings: Randomness, OOCness, lots of pizza, sleep talking**

**I also don't own anything, sadly.**

* * *

"Gentlemen, we have a national crisis on our hands."

All attention was at once drawn towards their masked leader. Zero paused for another few moments, creating a nervous tension in the room that caused several to shift uncomfortably.

"Pizza hut of Japan is closing down."

Silence. Then, someone fell out of their chair. That broke the stillness in the room as the Black Knights all began shouting for explanations, laughing or swearing in shock that their illustrious leader just made a joke.

"I am serious," the masked man continued solemnly, bringing quiet to the room once again, "Pizza hut feeds thirty four percent of the nation daily, both Britannian and the Japanese. It has been here long before this war and still remembers your people as the Japanese and not Elevens. It is one of the few eateries that will unbiasedly serve Japanese as well as Britannians without facing the threat of closing down- until now, of course."

All stared at Zero, uncomprehending the significance of the mini history lesson they had received. Zero sighed, "They're our main benefactor and without them, ninety percent of our food resources has disappeared."

Panic resumed.

"We're in the middle of war! How the heck are we supposed to win without food-"

"We're not going to dumbass!"

"We're all gonna starve-"

"-could make our own farm-"

"-All gonna die!"

"-no friggin land to grow crops, moron-"

"Damn I'm hungry already."

"- use the ghe-"

"-find our dead bodies then roast it over-"

"QUIET! Zero-sama already has a plan, right?"

All eyes on their leader who was leaning against the doorframe casually, seemingly amused at the earlier commotion.

Straightening himself, he replied, "Simple. We stop them from closing down."

All leaned in eagerly as Zero divulged his plan to them.

* * *

Hours later, the city of Tokyo saw a ring of knightmare frames making the largest pizza ever- larger than what Ashford Academy could ever accomplish. Excitement continued to grow exponentially as they realised the knightmare frames belonged to the Emperor's knight of the rounds.

Suzaku wondered how the second time in his life, he had been roped into making a giant pizza, this time from Princess Nunally. She had woken up from an afternoon nap, mumbling something about Lelouch loved eating giant pizzas and he would come back if one was made. Suzaku tried to sway her from her belief, reminding her that last time they made a giant pizza during the Ashford Academy festival, he woke up screaming from nightmares for a week. But she was undeterred, convinced her brother would be greeting her at the palace gates by the end of the day. He didn't have the heart to tell her that her brother was Zero and was unlikely to come waltzing into her royal quarters anytime soon.

"Suzaku! Wake up! You're going to drop the pizza!"

Suzaku was brought out of his musings by Gino who along with Anya and Nonette was dragged into this giant pizza business. They were the only available Knight of Rounds that within a kilometer at that time and were immediately roped into this insanity. Nonette was scheduled to leave for Area Thirteen the next day and was cursing her luck of not being scheduled to go earlier.

Meanwhile, across the city, Pizza hut found themselves with employees they didn't remember hiring, diligently producing pizza as time efficient as possible. Didn't he send them all home with the closing of his business? He was shocked when he saw the eatery full with diners, with more in a queue that lasted to the end of the street. The telephone was constantly ringing for deliveries to be made. He pinched himself several times to see if he was dreaming, when he pinched a little too hard, drawing out some blood, he finally decided that he was facing reality. Pulling aside an exhausted red headed delivery girl that just returned, he asked her what the heck was going on.

The girl said grinning, "The Knight of the Round are helping you do some advertising-" Heavens, was that a giant pizza made by Knightmares? After giving him a few moments to gape at the sight, she continued, "they've also agreed to give their autographs to fifty lucky people who buy two pizzas today."

The man could only nod dumbly, trying to process his majesty's personal knights were using their skills feared by all on the battlefield to make pizza. It was a very big pizza that could probably flatten the governess' palace and was unlikely to be successfully completed without the use of knightmares- what was the world coming to?! This was… bizarre, a lack of a better word to describe the madness. He was getting too old for this.

"Kallen! You have twenty more coming!"

"Got it!"

She glanced back to the owner of the Pizza huts across the city, wondering what she should do with him.

"Kallen-"

"I said I'm coming!"

She left the poor man with a vacant look in his eye as she stormed out to her Guren, twenty stacks of pizza boxes ready for her. Yelling a battle cry, she left Tamaki coughing in the dust as she went off to deliver the pizzas. She could vaguely hear him swearing as she rounded the corner. Bent on beating her record of six minutes and twenty seconds, she cut through a street and almost crashed into the Lancelot. She swore loudly as she swerved to avoid him. She couldn't start a fight here, especially with eighteen pizzas still on her Knightmare, of course she could drop them all but- then she realised, Suzaku had yet to make a move on her. She was momentarily confused before she realised with a devilish grin, if he tried to attack her, he would have to drop the pizza he was holding which would flatten half the city of Tokyo.

"Eat this bastard!" She yelled as she swerved close to him again before heading to her next destination. She relished the satisfaction of him stumbling to catch the pizza, imagining him glaring at her with gritted teeth as he squashed his longing to chase her down.

The rest of delivery went by smoothly, and Kallen was delighted to find that she finished her round in six minutes and eighteen seconds, despite the delay when she almost ran into the Lancelot. Then as suddenly as they had came to rescue Pizza hut from the threat of closing down, they disappeared as the usual employees confusedly took over.

The Knight of the Rounds, who had hurriedly disposed of the pizza by depositing the gigantic flat bread unto the Sea of Japan before racing back to the city of Tokyo to take down the Black Knights. They returned with not only no sign of the Black Knights but also hordes of fangirls and boys awaiting them. They fled. Racing in all different directions, hoping to throw off the enemy and reach the safe haven of the royal mansion. Lying in their own sitting room, panting, they made an unspoken agreement to never again speak of this… incident and to do everything in their power to not let news of this unfortunate event in their lives to travel across the oceans and perhaps brainwash the whole country into forgetting it. If news got back to their emperor, they would probably be beheaded for their idiocy.

* * *

"C.C."

Looks like she was caught. Taking off the mask, she turned around, "Yes Lelouch?"

The prince narrowed his eyes dangerously, gesturing the purple robes she was still wearing he asked, "What do you think you are doing masquerading as me?"

"Pizza hut was closing down."

"So you manipulate my sister while she was sleeping, take all my knights out to replace Pizza hut employees and use the Knight of the Rounds to do advertising?"

A light shiver ran down his back, thinking back to his earlier fainting episode when he caught sight of a giant pizza being swirled through the skies.

"Precisely."

The raven haired boy sighed, though incredibly stupid, it was still some sort of a cunning plan. C.C had known about his sister's tendency to sleep talk after several occurrences during her stay in his room and knew she would gullibly believe anything in that state. Since the Knight of the Rounds couldn't tell if someone was sleep talking or not when someone _always_ had their eyes closed, they had carried out Nunally's order- hadn't that man taught them not to listen to his children's whims especially if it was as frivolous as making a giant pizza? That ridiculous request had successfully put them out of any fighting while helping C.C to promote pizza hut. She must be spending too much time with him.

"It seems your cunning personality has finally rubbed off me, hmm?" the Witch said, smirking, as if reading his mind.

Refusing to admit he would waste his genius mind on something so trivial he fixed her with a flat look before telling her to change out of his uniform before someone saw her in it and saw him out of it. He mentally noted to make many more Zero outfits in case he was caught in other event where he desperately needed it yet was unable to wear it because C.C was out creating havoc again. The need for more purple robes and mask would later lead him to his diabolical plan of turning all his minions into Zeros to escape Japan. Never again would he worry about a lack of masks to hide his identity.

* * *

Suzaku punched the wall hard, his fist now a bleeding mess. He thought Nunally's sleep talking problems were solved at Kururugi Shrine. He wanted to cry- partly because his hand hurt, but mostly because of that incident he refused to acknowledge. In the background he could hear Schneizel howling in laughter.

Seeing his master was unable to speak, Kanon told him, "We want to thank you for creating the giant pizza-" another dent in the wall, courtesy of Suzaku, "-it has drifted to Area Nine- South Korea, and ceased riots caused by the lack of food. Your pizza-" another dent in the wall, "has been calculated to last them a year with careful storing of the dry parts of the pizza-" Kanon dodged the sharp flying projectile, "In the meanwhile Britannia will arrange crops to be grown in the country, so when the pizza-" Suzaku finally found his gun and was rumagging his pockets for bullets, "runs out, they will be able to feed themselves, preventing any more riots in the future."

He then promptly left the room with Schneizel (who was still incoherent from laughter) before Suzaku could fill his gun with ammo.

* * *

The End! As weird as it was, hope you like it! The idea of pizza delivery via knightmare was actually from some code geass pizza fic I read awhile ago. I'm not sure why I wrote this, after not writing anything for so long, but random ideas just came into my head and before I knew it, I somehow wrote this very random things. Code Geass is the latest anime I've watched and I have to say its one of the best out there. I actually wrote another CG fic on the plane which I didn't manage to finish on my flight. Maybe I'll finish it sometime and post it if I don't die from how embarassing it is. Anyway, have a great day! And feel free to r&r=)


End file.
